All around me there is stress and most of it isn't even aimed at me. So why do I feel trapped by it?
I am going through a divorce. One that is looking increasingly like it will NOT be amiable and may possibly include a custody battle and yet, I feel like my life is in SO much a better place than just about everyone I know.
I have more than one friend who is contemplating leaving a spouse, a few who are engaged in extra-relationship tryst-ery, several friends who are in the middle of divorces and custody battles, friends and relatives who are out of work, who are moving cross-country, who are pregnant and non-thrilled, who are NOT pregnant and not thrilled and who are just basically having a hard time with life and things.
And yet here I sit – out of work, on the verge of a huge move and a divorce (HUGE life stresses) and I feel . . . fine. Happy even. So what is wrong with this picture? Why am I not freaking out like everyone around me is?
Okay, let's be honest. I am a little stressed out but NOTHING compared to the chaos that is surrounding me.
Some time in the last year I seem to acquired quite a bit of a Zen attitude about stress. Life has frequently been overwhelming for me but in recent months, it has taken a awful LOT to get me down. I might have a day or two where I am "off" but overall my attitude has changed significantly. I have decided that life is actually too LONG to deal with a lot of nonsense so, because of that, I refuse to put up with a lot of it. If you piss me off, you know about it pretty quickly. If I love and appreciate you, you know THAT pretty fast too.
But now so many people I love are falling apart and seem to need me to lean on. I am doing my best to take it all in stride but there are days that THEIR stress starts to weigh on me.
I can't walk away and I refuse to turn my back on them. So I bear their burdens as much as I can and continue to breathe and remember that it wasn't THAT long ago that I was in their shoes with more stress than I could bear on my own. I choose to return the many favors that were granted to me.
So for the time being I will put up with feeling stuck in the middle with them. I know that most of them would gladly be stuck in the middle with me.