The latest obsession

Sami tends to get a little overzealous about new endeavors. She admits this freely. For example, she once decided that she would only write about herself in the third person – just to see if she could. She could. And did. For YEARS. She even had a newspaper column that ran for a few years in which if she made any kind of reference to herself, she did it third person. Currently, she is mocked for it relentlessly on Facebook because this is how she prefers to write status updates. It makes sense to her after all – the sentences begin with her name  - not I.

See? Overzealous.

The latest obsession is the new blog. Of course it is. Can’t just do something because it is fun. Have to go all crazy on it. Install a counter. Worry over the number of followers. Constantly pester friends by asking if they have read it – as if the friends have nothing better to do.

Because I am an actor (and therefore a little obsessed with the “why” of human behavior), I am trying to take a step back and think about why I am becoming obsessed with a 3 day old on-line diary. I could try to blame the cat (after all that is what The Bruce would do) but instead I have to look a bit deeper at the recent string of mini-obsessions.

South Beach Diet (again – quite successful last time it was attempted and isn’t really “needed” this time but it kept popping into the noggin so here we find ourselves.)

Negativity Diet (instigated by Herr Director but now pondered endlessly by yours truly as she overanalyzes just what exactly counts as negativity)

The Fashion Diet (inspired by a Yahoo news story about a group of people who wear only 6 items of clothing or less for a 30 day period – washing is allowed so no need for you to worry about that one too)

This may seem to you to be a string of non-connected ridiculousness but I suspect I know from whence this stems.

The Last 5 Years is a musical that I am producing and starring in that opens the beginning of September. In about 4 weeks.

And I am terrified.

I mean, the show is going very, very well, We are already doing full run throughs and are both mostly off-book (I get to do this show with the boyfriend aka The Bruce). This show could be huge for me career-wise and I know it. I have been working really hard to push myself out there and get people who make Big Casting Decisions to even know who I am and possibly care enough to come see a production I am in. And I am inviting them ALL. And I am terrified they will not show up and equally terrified that they will.

Musicals are not my strong suit. I am a decent singer (especially in a rock band type situation) but have always felt out of my league when it comes to musical theatre and here I am, in one of the toughest roles out there for a woman and I put myself there so if it crashes and burns – there is no one to blame but me.

Is it any wonder that rather than thinking about that, I choose to obsess over my Follower Count?

So if you could do Sami a solid and read her blog. Heck, you don’t even have to read the darn thing – just go to the page now and then so that the counter goes up a bit and she can stop futzing with it and start focusing on what is really scaring her.

Sami would really appreciate that and so would I.