Our heroine is fast approaching burnout or a breakdown – one or the other.
I seem to have lost all motivation to move. This happens every now and then. I schedule myself to the brink of sanity, trip the teeniest bit which sets off a LONG series of events which eventually devolves into being completely behind schedule for several weeks until finally I am to the point in my calendar where nothing is expected of me. Then I take a VERY short break to "collect" myself and then start the ridiculous ride all over again.
Right now, I am in collection mode.
I have things to do, classes to un-enroll from, other classes to plan, auditions to prep for and a Big Birthday Bash to plan but I just don't wanna. I WANT to sit around get caught up on the last 5 weeks of Grey's Anatomy and eat pizza and drink Dr. Pepper.
When I get like this I try to push through it and get what needs done done. The problem is when I force my brain to do things it is not in the mood for – the end product is always crap and then I feel worse than if I had just blown the responsibility off in the first place. But that is just not how I work.
So I muddle through.
Hopefully this less-than-stellar level of activity will improve soon but for now the mere thought of actually accomplishing anything feels a touch overwhelming.
Bah.
My god do I know that feeling! Well, not the over scheduling part most of the time. But the not feeling like doing anything but ___ part.
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