That would be me

That would be me

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

In hiding

Or how Sami is tucking her tail between her legs and running for the hills.

Okay, so I admit it. About certain things, I am completely non-confrontational – even cowardly, you might say. When it comes to defending the “little guy,” I will get up on a desk and yell and scream my head off. If it is about ME and/or something I am involved in – Big Fat Scaredy Cat.

A few months ago, I walked away from something I cared about because of a battle with myself and other forces. I didn’t really “want” to but I did. In the wake of my leaving, there was paperwork and financial things that needed to be taken care of. Money needed to change hands. Financial ties permanently severed.


I still have not done so. At first, I just couldn’t seem to bring myself to do it. Like putting the finishing touches on the “break-up” would make it more real than I could bear it to be. Now, though, it has been so long that not having taken care of this has put me in an embarrassing situation. It NEEDS to be done. It is imperative. I have to face the music.

And it is humiliating.

I keep scheduling “times to meet” to hand the items over but my brain seems to conveniently block those out and then next thing I know it is the next day and I am faced with an angry email admonishing me for doing forgetting it . . . again.

I feel like an ass.

I am not TRYING to be irresponsible or insensitive and it isn’t like I NEED those things to be STILL sitting in a bag in the corner of my office.  I am just . . . scared/nervous/embarrassed and have so much stress that I am under right now that I can’t seem to face it.

So, and you know who you are, I am REALLY sorry. I will take care of this tomorrow. Somehow.

I hope.

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